Saturday, 2 November 2013

Now or Never

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I'm going to type up a huge chunk of stuff right now. As with this time of year, it's the wonderful exam period. Only 2 more years of this to go (hopefully). I really hate studying, it's just been so slow this semester and I can't seem to sit myself down and block out distractions. I really do think I have dumbed down but that's my fault. I haven't stimulated my mind and I have tried to avoid it. Just something really small I noticed that I haven't been playing games that can critically stimulate my mind and make me think and make me frustrated. It's because I know that in certain scenarios I will be so annoyed and I avoid it completely. Wrong mentality. Really, I should have thought about tackling the problems and trying to solve something instead of knowing that I don't want to do it and avoid that sort of anxiety. You know patience really defines a person so I've lost myself there a bit. Ok, back to studying... Although arduous now, I know I'm going to miss it because I'm the sort of person who acts very wise and pretends to enjoy the experience. Well not pretend but I tend to try and appreciate it more and then I do. I know I'll miss it because any change to me is refreshing but at the same time, a reminder of how great something else was. This kind of really hits me at my current job. I haven't been adjusting well to the new job and all in retail. I really wanted to be more involved with clothes and fashion doing retail but it's nothing like that. Retail is just selling garments. There's almost no fashion element in the job so far. I have had one register experience selling watches though and I do think that's much more what I want. I guess I just want to be associated and work with those brands. But I think I have settled on the mentality that it's just for the money right now. Okay, it's not like I make billions of dollars but it really isn't bad money for the job market right now, for something just part-time on top of study. Work is however, repetitive, non-stimulating and with a low sense of achievement everyday. I've never had a job before where I was in it just for the money. I'm always looking to fulfil my soul. The other day I got an e-mail about some fashion PR companies in New York that were looking for interns. I started daydreaming. Actually first of all I don't even know WHY I would get such e-mails because I'm all the way here, but yeah, I started daydreaming. Wouldn't it be amazing to go to New York to pursue something you've always wanted? It's just like a scene out of a movie (which I will create one day based on my memoirs - not). LOL anyway, so many things in life to me are just scenes out of a movie but they NEVER seem to end the perfect way like they do in there (so many times I can't even). But it's still fun to speculate and have a mental plan of what will I do and how I would face challenges. I was daydreaming about applying and getting it and making my way there in the belly of the beast doing something that would be fun to me. Then I just chickened out because I knew how difficult and expensive everything would be and went to sleep. Ha! Oh well, I know one day I will be ready though. When I am, I will do my best.

'It's now or never, daydreamer.'


  1. Good luck with finals! Catch up after when I'm done! :P
    Photoshooting sessions! LET'S GET CRAZY!!! :D

  2. THXXX i hope they were ok!
    yeah lots of catch up